C S I Quotes

Gil Grissom:There are three things people love to stare at: A rippling stream, a sunset, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Sara Sidle: Charlie Brown... I love a Zamboni.
Gil Grissom: There is always a clue.

Catherine Willows: Theaters are like nightclubs. They should always keep the lights off.
Gil Grissom: This is the last art house left in Vegas. I saw Baraka here on a double bill with Koyaanisquatsi.
Catherine Willows: Was there anyone else here?
Gil Grissom: Sure.
Catherine Willows: With you?
Gil Grissom: No.

Hodges: I didn't page you.
Nick Stokes: No. I just figured I'd come by.
Hodges: You're checking up on me again.
Nick Stokes: No, I'm checking up on my evidence.
Hodges: Do you think if you hover the FTIR will work faster?
Nick Stokes: Yes, Hodges, that's what I think.

Gil Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick Stokes: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg Sanders: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick Stokes: What have you been doing all day?

Sara Sidle: What was that all about? Grissom signs?
Warrick Brown: You know he drinks when he goes out at night?
Sara Sidle: He goes out?
Warrick Brown: Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?

Sara Sidle: What do you think caused these marks?
Hodges: Give me more time. I'm not a miracle worker.
Sara Sidle: Well, that's obvious, Hodges. If you were a miracle worker, you wouldn't be rude.
Hodges: I wasn't being rude. I was being curt. Rude would be, "When I know, you'll know." Friends?
Sara Sidle: No.

[Catherine and Grissom are watching a movie at an art house theater]
Catherine Willows: What'd I miss?
Gil Grissom: Murder, seduction, deceit. The usual.
Catherine Willows: This one of your favorites?
Gil Grissom: Actually, I'm not a big fan of noir.
Catherine Willows: Okay... Well, what do you like?
Gil Grissom: I like silent movies.

Catherine Willows: The only thing that sports book means to me is guys without showers.
Warrick Brown: [laughs] That's actually true.
Catherine Willows: Who do you like?
Warrick Brown: Charlotte. My mom grew up in North Carolina.
Catherine Willows: Okay, I'll give you Charlotte +2.
Warrick Brown: What do I get if I win?
Catherine Willows: How about a fabulous dinner.
Warrick Brown: I'll take your action.

Gil Grissom: Where's your enthusiasm?
Greg Sanders: Whenever I find a match in here, my world gets a little smaller. Out there I felt large.
Gil Grissom: Out there means a pay cut.
Greg Sanders: I'm not about the money.

[Nick is complaining about not being able to get a warrant for a search]
Gil Grissom: You're a grown man, Nick. Stop whining.

Gil Grissom: It was in the days of public hangings that people first noticed that men would get erections and sometimes even ejaculate. They called it "The Killer Orgasm."

[after telling Grissom something that Grissom already knows]
Greg Sanders: I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
Gil Grissom: That would impress me.

Greg Sanders: What *don't* you know?
Gil Grissom: Aaron Pratt is a high-functioning autistic man with superior right brain abilities.
Nick Stokes: Kind of sounds like you.

Sara Sidle: So relax and lie down on your back.
Greg Sanders: You know, this is exactly like a dream I had once, except it wasn't in a garage and Grissom wasn't watching.
[beat] Greg Sanders: That was a different dream.
Gil Grissom: Greg!
Greg Sanders: Yeah.
Gil Grissom: Take off your shoes and socks.
Greg Sanders: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not too sure I can hang with that - even if you are my boss.
Gil Grissom: Your mother's maiden name was Hojem? Hojem is Norwegian, right?
Greg Sanders: That's right and you know my grandfather was tossed from Norway for getting my grandmother pregnant before they got married. To this day he still tells me "Som man reder sa ligger man". [long pause]
Greg Sanders: One must lie in the bed one has made.
Nick Stokes: You can *not* be *serious*!

Warrick Brown: Hey! John MacEnroe. Where's the game?
Greg Sanders: I had to send this to an outside lab since we're not equipped to carry out bacterial DNA analysis. Hint, hint.
Sara Sidle: I never said you weren't a good CSI.
Warrick Brown: Well, he's a sneaky SOB I'll give him that.
Sara Sidle: How's my hypothesis?
Gil Grissom: Huh? Oh, I barely heard you.
Sara Sidle: Good thing I have a healthy ego.

Sara Sidle: What's that smell?
Nick Stokes: I'm nuking a burrito.
Sara Sidle: Mmm. Junk food and radiation. Good combo.

Gil Grissom: Have you got the DNA results from the fingernail Catherine found?
Greg Sanders: Yeah. They're not a match to Patrick Haynes.
Gil Grissom: I never figured a man for the fingernail, Greg.
Greg Sanders: But this is where you break out the can of creep repellent. Half of the DNA markers are in common.
Gil Grissom: A possible first degree relative?

Sara Sidle: Dead body! Bonus.
Gil Grissom: OK, I'm starting to forgive you.

Captain Jim Brass: You're under arrest for obstructing justice, tampering with state's evidence, and violating seven articles of being scumbag.

Gil Grissom: Concentrate on what doesn't lie: the evidence.

Catherine Willows: Now tell me, why are we here?
Gil Grissom: Because this is the only place within 10 miles of Caulville Bay that serves Calamari.
Catherine Willows: And you know this because...?
Gil Grissom: I come here for calamari.
Catherine Willows: Alone?
Gil Grissom: No. Sometimes I have a beer with it.

Gil Grissom: Every day we meet people on the worst day of their lives.

Gil Grissom: If you chase two rabbits, you lose them both.

Warrick Brown: Well, you know Grissom, shortest distance between two points is science. For Catherine, it's pounding the pavement.

[Grissom admits to a mistake]
Gil Grissom: What?
Nick Stokes: Well, it's just that most people don't admit to being wrong.
Gil Grissom: I'm wrong all the time. It's how I get to "right".

[Cath is a former stripper]
Greg Sanders: So, the French Palace, huh?
Catherine Willows: Yup.
Greg Sanders: You know, my friends and I used to go there. Payday Fridays.
Catherine Willows: Uh-huh.
Greg Sanders: Maybe I saw you perform.
Catherine Willows: Oh, I doubt it.
Greg Sanders: Why?
Catherine Willows: You would've remembered.

Catherine Willows: You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil Grissom: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine Willows: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?

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